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Never Be
Afraid To Get Emotional
By Cheryl
Alldredge
I often forget the titles of
favorite books I’ve read, but I never forget the characters. By
the end of a good novel, I’ve grown close to them and
experienced their joys, fears, and passions. In
character-focused fiction, emotions drive the story as much, if
not more, than the plot. The emotions must be as carefully
crafted as any other element of the story. Let’s take a look at
a scene from Night Sins by Tami Hoag:
Hannah shook her head. Her
hand trembled violently as she set her mug back on the tray,
sloshing coffee over the rim. Ignoring the mess, she folded
herself in two, hugging her knees, dry sobs racking her
body. Someone had stolen her son. In the blink of an eye
Josh was gone from their lives, taken by a faceless stranger
to a nameless place for a purpose no mother ever wanted to
consider. She wondered if he was cold, if he was frightened,
if he was thinking of her and wondering why she hadn’t come
for him. She wondered if he was alive.
Although Hannah’s emotions are
never explicitly identified in this passage, it is hard not to
experience the agony, guilt, and fear of a mother whose child
has been abducted. One of the first rules of writing good
fiction is ‘show, don’t tell.’ Labeling, or ‘telling’ the
emotions present in a scene, would only distance the reader from
the very emotions the author intended her to experience.
So, by what means do we show emotion?
Actions
The
character’s actions are an outward indicator of inner feelings.
When confronted with a fire breathing monster the character
turns and runs. He is feeling fear.
Dialogue
Dialogue is another outward indicator of emotion. At times it’s
appropriate for a character to label their own emotions, but
this can be as flat as labeling emotions in narration. More
often the dialogue will indicate emotion in some indirect way.
Later the fleeing character’s partner asks, “How could you just
leave me there to face that monster alone? Did you want me to
die?” We understand the character is feeling betrayed.
Physical Reactions
Physical sensations, that tight feeling in the characters chest,
the frantic heartbeat, and other telltale signs of some reaction
can convey emotion convincingly. Keep in mind; however, a single
reaction could be interpreted differently under different
circumstances. A rapid heartbeat could be caused by excitement,
fear, arousal, or simply exertion. It can be tricky to find new
ways to word these generic reactions, but it is important to
avoid overusing common phrases, such as “her heart leapt into
her throat.”
Thoughts
A
character might reveal emotions in their thoughts, but again
avoid labeling. The character doesn’t think, “I’m angry.” She
thinks, “I wanted to slap the smirk off his face.”
The passage from Night Sins
incorporated actions, physical reactions, and thoughts to build
a gripping, emotional scene. When a character’s emotions are
straightforward all of these indicators can be used in
combination to make those emotions crystal clear. But, what do
you do when the character is feeling one emotion and trying to
outwardly portray some other emotion? This is bound to happen at
some point in the story. The dragon slayer puts on a brave front
but inwardly he’s terrified. In this case, the indicators will
contradict. Typically, physical reaction and thoughts reflect
the true underlying emotion while actions and dialogue convey
what the character wants other characters to believe.
All of the techniques discussed
so far, focus on the emotions of the moment. It is important not
to forget the big picture. In a great novel, the characters are
complex and their emotions change over time. Fiction is all
about conflict, both external and internal. Emotional conflicts
often come from conflicting motivations, desires, and goals. The
character wants two things that conflict: to exact revenge on
Mr. X—to keep the love and respect of Mr. X’s daughter. The
character might love the daughter and at the same time resent
her for standing in the way of his goal of revenge.
The key to pulling off complex
emotions is in laying the groundwork. Characters must be
consistent to be believable. If you merely show moment-to-moment
emotional reactions that conflict, the reader will be confused.
Carefully build the readers understanding of each emotion and
motivation before you mix conflicting emotions into a complex
scene. Conflict and emotions drive your novel forward and keep
your reader involved. The time you spend motivating them and
helping the reader understand your characters is crucial to
successfully crafting a complex, rich story your reader will
remember long after The End.
Further reading: for more
great information on emotion and straightforward craft tips and
tools to strengthen your writing, try Characters, Emotion &
Viewpoint by Nancy Kress.
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